I was HOPELESS with girls. A sensitive, shy, nice guy. The nice guy wuss I thought girls would go for.
But all the girls I liked, would end up going out with guys who I thought were jerks.
I was confused, frustrated, and I felt like something was just wrong with me.
Does this sounds familiar?
It was later that I realized I was only being “nice” to get women to validate and like me.
I had no confidence and myself esteem was in the shitter.
I just didn’t know any better.
Little did I know that girls are repelled by the nice guy.
I was the epitome of a people-pleasing “Mr Nice Guy,” just desperately hoping women would like me.
Miserable and frustrated I didn’t know if things would ever get better.
Eventually, I did somehow meet a girl I was crazy about and we started dating.
But deep down, I was still really insecure.
All I would think about was:
“How long ‘til I fuck this up?”
“How long till she finds someone else?”
I was trying so hard to be nice to her and upset her becasue I didn't want to lose her!
Around this time, I discovered the “PUA” community and learned all the techniques that are taught to win women over or how to be stop being nice and be more of a jerk.
So I tried to fake being a jerk.
Faking it didn’t work, I was so afraid to lose her that I couldn’t confidently step into tension with her.
So I just bounced back and forth between being a pushover nice guy and doing a horrible job of trying to pretend to be a jerk.
At the end of the day, that all came from this subconscious feeling deep down that I didn’t really deserve her.
So of course, that came out in my behavior with her...and she left me.
It ripped my heart out.
That first heartbreak in my early 20s spurred me to throw myself deep into personal development.
I became a social scientist, and I’ve been studying how to create confidence, attraction, and connection with women ever since.
I devoured every book and resource I could find within the greater personal growth world.
But at first, I still didn’t develop much masculinity.
At one point, I even moved into a Yoga commune, thinking “hippy, spiritual girls will love me!”
Instead all I would hear is “Brian, you’re wonderful, but let's just be friends”...(ugh!!!)
To make matters worse, they all then fell for ”the new guy” – (let’s call him “Adam”) who was fresh out of jail, with no money, and no car.
Are you kidding me?!!!
Adam was the exact opposite of who I was being.
I hated him at first, but then I swallowed my pride and decided to turn it into a learning opportunity.
So I moved in with Adam and studied what made him so irresistible to women.